Letting Go Of My Petty Life

picture: Free-Photos (CC0 Public Domain)

Letting go: I gave up on comfort. I gave up on free will. I gave up on my petty small life.

Stuff is speeding up so so fast. It’s incredible. I am currently really forced to grow, forced to let go. Forced to transcend my petty self and start serving to humanity.

And by serving I mean real serving. Not serving in a sense of: I can have my dreams AND a purpose. But serving in a sense of: No dreams, just pure service.

And that’s where I am heading: I am about to become a vehicle for a higher purpose.

All the time life somehow made sure that I don’t have any attachments. There is no flat I am living in, no relationship, no career, nothing. Somehow I was never able to get the normal stuff people dream off.

But here comes the catch: Life was not doing that to me. I was doing that myself, all the time. And this was me doing it by having certain blocks that got me to fail over and over again. For example: by not being able to get a boyfriend, by not being able to move out, by not having any strong attachments to anything and by not being able to manifest my dream life full.

Somehow an aspect in me knew, that life is about to get serious for me very early. That I have to take responsibility not just for myself, but for everyone around me.

And for that I had to be in the least attached state I could be. And I still have to be.

Before, I was asking myself the questions: What can I get today? How can I get closer to my dreams?

Now it shifted to the questions: What can I give today? How can I serve?

That’s the new theme of my life. It somehow always was, but I resisted it all the time. Because I wanted my dream life. I wanted a petty existence so badly. But this wanting was due to the fear of my own power and the rejection of my purpose.

And now, I was forced to face it. There was no option, really not. And here I am. With the new and actually old theme of my life.

I turned 22 years old. There are no dreams, no wishes, no desires.

Because it’s about focus. I cannot use my energy to focus on MY existence, on my petty life. This would be a waste of energy. So the energy is used for the whole world. For the people, for humanity, for the planet. I no longer resist my path, I surrender.

And now, I do whatever it takes. Whatever is required.