how to stop making assumptions in a relationship

Making assumptions is ruining your life. Every minute of the day assumptions are dictating how you think, feel and act. Like a hidden force, they are controlling you without your knowledge. They are preventing you from reaching financial abundance, optimal health, and a loving environment. Learn How To Stop Making Assumptions In A Relationship.

A life Without Assumptions

Now imagine what a life would be like without assumptions? How would you live your life?
You would probably pursue your passion without worrying about money. You would be in a happy partnership with a compatible partner and you would be surrounded by a community of loving people. Things would effortlessly come to you because you have no limiting assumptions about how it’s possible. 

If you are reading this article, this is very likely this is not yet you. And that is why this article offers three steps for how you can stop making assumptions.

But before we go into the steps, we have to understand what assumptions are.

What Is An Assumption

An assumption is a thing that is accepted as true or as certain to happen, without proof.

Assumptions are coming from past experiences which formed beliefs. They function to validate your beliefs by controlling your perception and expectations.
To understand this better, here’s an example:

Let’s say you grew up with a single parent. As a child, you formed the belief that no relationship is forever and you will end up alone. Now whenever you are in a relationship, you assume that it will not last. This then leads to not fully investing yourself emotionally and not building a strong bond. And because a strong bond and emotional investment are crucial for a lasting relationship, you are sabotaging yourself by not building this because of your assumption.
Furthermore, you see proof that relationships don’t last in your social environment, which validates the belief even further.

Making Assumptions Is Controlling You

What you can see in this example is that assumptions control actions that validate your assumption and in the end the belief. And that is a deadly cycle because you are always looking to prove to yourself what you believe.
Now looking back at the definition it stated that assumptions are “without proof”. And that is true. Your experience led you to a belief that you cannot fully proof but you are constantly trying to prove it. So what can you do about this? How to stop making assumptions in a relationship?

How To Stop Making Assumptions In A Relationship
1. Identify Your Assumptions

The first step in overcoming our assumptions to live a better life is to identify them. Because we cannot change what we cannot see. To do this, write down the areas in your life where you struggle the most and ask yourself this question:

What do I believe to be true about… (relationships, money,..)?
Then write as many things down as you can.
For example:
I will end up alone.
I can only make money by working for someone else.
In order to lose weight, I have to eat less and workout hard.

2. Question The Assumptions

After compiling a long list of assumptions, take each assumption and ask the following questions (some are inspired by Byron Katie “The work”)

Is this true?
Can I be 100% sure that this is true?
How does this assumption hinder me in life?
What would … (a person you admire and look up to) say about this assumption?
Who would I be without this assumption?

3. Change Your Assumptions

Now that you have the list of all assumptions and you did some work on questioning them, you managed to already do some work to resolve them. In the next step now, you need to change your assumptions into one that makes your life better. To do this, ask for each assumption:

What would I rather assume?

Write down the answers. Make sure the statements are positive and absolute statements.

Now to install them into your psyche you need to do a little more work and you have two options here.
Option 1: Record the assumptions in audio and play it every day either before you sleep or in the morning for 10 days.
Option 2: If you cannot record, read the list of new assumptions every evening before sleep or every morning a few times.

Do this for 10 days.

Now if you are still not sure how to do this or there are some assumptions you cannot really see, book a free 30-minute call with me:

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