In this article, you will learn 5 reasons daily meditation can change your dating life and how to use meditation to change your dating life.
Love is difficult. Dating is difficult. It would be nice if all it takes for a relationship to work out is to find the right person, but this is far from reality. In reality, people struggle with dependencies, expectations, neediness, arguments and unhealthy dynamics in dating and relationships.
You cannot change the other person and the fact that these challenges do happen. But you can change the way you respond. With daily meditation, you increase the chance of a peaceful relationship and dating experience that is free from neediness and dependencies and that is filled with mutual interest and caring.
Meditation is a practice where an individual uses a technique – such as mindfulness, or focusing the mind on a particular object, thought or activity – to train attention and awareness, and achieve a mentally clear and emotionally calm and stable state.
As an experienced meditator and coach on the one hand and a young woman who is looking for love and companionship, on the other hand, I can say that I have my fair share of experience when it comes to dating and relationships. For over 6 years now I have been meditation daily for at least 20 minutes. And, for over 6 years now I have been dating. Here’s what I think daily meditation can do for your love life.
5 ways daily meditation can change your love life
1. Increased self-awareness
Meditation in general increases self-awareness. Being aware of your own internal motives, expectations, and beliefs around love and relationships is a big ingredient to peaceful dating life. Often what blinds us to the reality of a person is our fantasies, dreams, and expectations of an ideal relationship. I wouldn’t say that having those fantasies and expectations is a bad thing, but it is definitely a good thing to become aware of these.
Most of us develop fantasies of ideal relationships due to past traumas. What we experienced or didn’t is what we wish in a partner. Questioning these ideas and where they come from through daily meditation changes the way we approach and interact with a potential lover.
2. Assessing the person vs. blindly going after them
Being attracted to someone does not mean they are automatically a good match. Through daily meditation, you learn the ability to asses the person before you fall head over heels in love with them. Regular practice makes you so self-aware that you notice your own motives for dating someone and why you are attracted to them.
Is it because they represent something for me that I myself lack?
Am I attracted to them because they look good and they will make me look good?
In general, you become more curious and you start to question yourself more.
3. Is it attachment or love?
The basic mechanism of human survival is bonding through attachment. Attachment is not a bad thing when we are attached to the right person. It ensures that we will stay with them in good and bad times. But, often we get attached too soon based on fantasies in our heads. Especially as a person who has been traumatized through connection in the past, you easily mistake early attachment for love.
Daily meditation enables you to see your attachment mechanism. The awareness that you gain from your daily practice makes you see the thought patterns that lead to being attached to the other person. That way you can investigate whether you are attached to the person because of your own fantasies and ideas or because of the reality of the person.
4. What is mine vs. theirs
As a person with codependency tendencies, you tend to take other people’s problems and issues as your own. This causes you a lot of pain and suffering in the long run because you think that there is something wrong with you when in fact it is the other person’s issues and responsibility.
Through daily meditation, you increase your awareness of what is yours and what is theirs. Is the reaction of the other person because of something I did or because of something they have experienced in the past that makes them react like this right now? Another person’s reactions have most of the time nothing to do with you but more to do with them.
5. Ability to let go
For me personally this has been a big benefit and sometimes detriment to dating. Through my 6-year daily meditation practice, I developed such an enormous ability to let go that I often forget about people I dated. It is almost like when I am done, I am done. And so done that it is erased out of my mind. This is a good thing on the one hand because I am not bathing in the pain of old lovers but opening up to new love. It can be a detriment because you easily erase people out of your life who may need to stay a bit longer for you to learn the lesson.
How to use daily meditation to improve your dating life
The best way to improve your dating life is to start a daily meditation practice. If you are a beginner, start with a simple 15-20 minute body scan meditation in the morning. The body scan is a simple technique to relax all areas of your body.
Another way to start is to join my meditation coaching program. I am a big believer in helping my clients find the meditation technique that suits them. One fits it all approach usually don’t work. Based on your wants and needs you get weekly personalized meditation recordings. Also, you get weekly coaching calls with me to help you find your center of peace and happiness. That way you don’t waste your time with random techniques. If you are interested in that, book your free coaching call below.